there are so many reasons to do this thing called blogging. some write to impress others, make a splash, a scene, create a stir. others write as to give their days an airing on the info-sooper-highway, keep news with clans. others reflect on this or that. why do I write? suppose i fall into that last category. all are great reasons to write.

some lock their diaries, some actively seek readers, some only write to those they know. witnessing people getting hurt in this medium is unpleasant. being hurt is scalding. one person even reported being "googled" by relatives and therefore locked her diary. others have been told that they are boring, offensive, stupid. people have their own agendas in reading others, in writing to others. ACTION PLAN FOR TODAY: stop by a diary, take a shit, feel clever and leave. who you are when you came by someone's diary determines 99% of what you see when you read them.

i am feeling protective of someone who recently got hurt, but I have seen it before. maybe diaryland should make people log in by forcing them to claim their agenda before they can see diaries! that way, if they are honest and say "I'd like to take a shit on someone!" that they end up only seeing fake diaries that are written to portray low self-esteem people. they get a virtual hit without hurting someone.

we are a weird sociological experiment, we blogites. never before has so much gone out there for public perusal.

never before have those cloaked in annonimity been invited so close to us- to the heart of people.

as one that preferes to be back stage, to make things happen from behind-the-scenes... i felt a wee bit exposed while the 10,000 free banners were running for my diary. banners were "free" for gold members, and being a cheap female looking for a deal... how could i pass it up?

before the banners ran, the only people who stopped in were the fandfull of people who knew me, that i invited to my site. now, i have been seen by 505 strangers... most of whom looked and went on their way, some who shared and went on their way, some of whom are becoming friends. more will be revealed.

this parallels something going on in my work life. last night i represented my workplace at the city council for an appeal to their bylaws. mind you, i am an event planner. not a politicing person. to make it short and sweet: it went well. we prevailed, but some news leaked out through a desperate news reporter which now puts us in an uncomfortable position related to some potential funding.

the exposure made the day unbearable for me. agendas were at play, not with the Garden's best interest at heart- people want to look clever, in control, or as having insider knowledge- and it could ( tho i forcast won't) hurt the Garden. things become public record, then news, then... who knows, gossip?

i hate being quoted by the press. it seldom has worked for me, except when they come report on my family programs- and even then, sometimes they say bad things. once, i had this LOVELY herpitologist presenting her reptiles and the reporter commented in the story about her rotund appearance. WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO THERE? WHAT DID THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BOAS AND TOADS AND MOMS AND DADS AND KIDS FALLING IN LOVE WITH THE NATURAL WORLD????? AAAUUUGGGHHH!!

we open the doors. people come in and clang and bang and crash around and leave.

maybe the ones who stay are the only ones worth knowing?

and, i am through.