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2004-03-11 - AN APOLOGY FOR THE LACK OF VIRTUE

had a strange experience today at the grocery store. this being the first venture back into regular grocery culture post-strike, there was a sense of anticipation, held in check with the prediction that it would be weird- like uneven food selections and oddly expired food that combusted from a build-up of heat from the preservatives sitting for so long.

that was a long sentence.

anyway, the store was rather sad in spirit, a bit empty. the food that was fresh looked so perky next to the food that was on the edge. there were empty shelves - entire bays were unstocked.

it was lunchtime, so a wander past the "i have no mommie to pack me a lunch" section of ready-mades was in order. waiting at the counter, NO ONE came to wait on me. then, a guy came up on my side of the counter. he looked normal, but as moments went along it was clear that he had something special cookin'. he kept looking at me and smiling. and smiling. and smiling. and looking.

there is a cranky way of being hungry and not getting service that makes you crazy. but this guy was getting on my last nerve in a way that made worried for his wellbeing. don't bug a hungry person who has high standards for customer service that are being toyed with!

in turning to walk away (string cheese for lunch it is!) the guy said, "Hey, hi!?"

and i did not say a word. ignored him.

now that may not seem bad to others, but when you possess personal standards that make you honor people and when you used to work with homeless people that were weird and goofy and scary ALL THE TIME and you believe that everyone is a dignified human being- then you get disenchanted with yourself.

so, into the void, i offer my apology.

in other news, we are tired of being poor. getting bugged and wanting to have a home... or FULL OUT LIVE AS A GYPSY. this in-between stuff is getting old.

sam the cat wines. and that is all.

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