decisions must be made. multiple, large, arching decisions that all are interhinged. each effects the all. the "all" is, finally, what we must live with. so each decision is important.

weighty.

"no" to living smaller. or with less hope. i want to believe that any sacrifice now is not an act of shrinking back or beiving in lack - but out of choice for something greater.

as a kid, we get little choices. like the: "DO YOU WANT TO GET PUNISHED?... IF NOT, YOU WILL CHOOSE:____________". hardly a choice, choosing brussel sprouts over a paddling, yeh?.

some kids, tho, would take the whipping and reject the sprouts. i, would stand amazed by this upset in the natural order of the cosmos!

but it had to do with their will, didn't it? anyone can force down a brussel sprout, it takes a person with will to stand up under a whipping.

i always coughed down my brussel sprouts.

really asserting the will, come hell or high water. hmmm... do i only know how to take reality like a machine gun firing off little green bullet brussel sprouts?

today, i will take a spanking and not eat the brussel sprouts. i want my will to stay stubborn right now.

in the meantime, direction, decisions, casting the dice. i hope to mobilize, not to become immobile.

there are people who appear to dance above the daily, pedestrian concerns of survival. i'd like to figure out how to join them.